My brain is trying to protect me.
That’s what my research tells me.
I want desperately to remember.
I continue to look for the key.
I don’t know what I would do if I quit looking.
Fall into a depressive state even worse than the one I am in now?
I try so hard to remember.
I try so hard to acknowledge.
I don’t want to repeat what was learned.
I fight it everyday.
My memory fails me.
Wife. Mother. Educator. Craft Nerd. Tree hugger. Animal lover. Coffee Lover. Daughter of a narcissistic mother in Recovery from CPTSD.
My Youtube channel is where I will sometimes combine ASMR format with the sharing of my story.
I am working on a series of videos that focus on Recovery from CPTSD.
The name of my youtube channel/blog is meant to have a double meaning. I am poking holes physically as I crochet, but also figuratively, as in I'm poking holes into the stories I've always believed about my family (or was taught to believe), and discovering the real truth.
Crochet became a form of meditation for me to get me through some of my darkest moments. I hope you find it relaxing.