I always looked up to her. I always sought her opinion on important matters. I always looked forward to sharing things with her, and having long talks with her about whatever. I always had her best interests at heart.
That was until, I realized the truth.
When my golden child sister and narcissistic mother discarded me in June 2015, it literally felt like my whole world had been ripped out from underneath me. I was very confused, and to say I was hurt would be an understatement. I was devastated!
It’s funny how just when it feels like your whole world is coming to an end, is when you finally get the answers to all of life’s unanswered questions! After an obsessive (I kid you not) amount of research, I realized they both have narcissistic personality disorder, and that I was suffering from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I decided it was best for my mental health to go no contact with them. I haven’t spoken to either of them in person since September 2015.
One year later….
I get an email from the golden child sister telling me that she misses me and she loves me. The part that is blanked out between her message and the x’s and o’s is my childhood nickname.
At first, (I’ll admit) I cried.
After I had time to let it sink in, I began to wonder what she wanted. She must want something. Could it just be supply?
It would be very easy to get all emotional and sentimental, and get sucked right back into the family dysfunction. But, I’ve spent way too many hours learning about this disorder and what being abused by them has done to me to just roll over and let them do it to me all over again. That’s not going to happen. This former quasi golden child/lost child/scapegoat is fully awake.
I have to remember that both my mother and my golden child sister fit the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. They are incapable of real love or empathy. The words she used in her email were carefully crafted in order to induce an emotional response from me.
They want something from me. They’re looking for some supply. I have nothing to give them.
I have chosen to remain NO CONTACT!