CPTSD: Today Was Not A Good Day

I am a mess.

I keep trying to look for something that

is going to help me to feel “normal” again.

I am in a fog.

I am 2 steps forward, 2 steps back.

I have been emotionally injured.

I have an emotional injury.

My inner critic is very mean.

My inner critic makes me cry,

and believe that I am pathetic,

and beyond repair.

I can’t accept that though.

I don’t accept that.

The part of me that doesn’t accept that

is the real me, the authentic me.

The part that kept her self hidden from danger.

She’s still in there,

but she isn’t sure

it’s safe to come out yet.

~ Poking Holes ~



Poking Holes View All →

Wife. Mother. Educator. Craft Nerd. Tree hugger. Animal lover. Coffee Lover. Daughter of a narcissistic mother in Recovery from CPTSD.

My Youtube channel is where I will sometimes combine ASMR format with the sharing of my story.

I am working on a series of videos that focus on Recovery from CPTSD.

The name of my youtube channel/blog is meant to have a double meaning. I am poking holes physically as I crochet, but also figuratively, as in I'm poking holes into the stories I've always believed about my family (or was taught to believe), and discovering the real truth.

Crochet became a form of meditation for me to get me through some of my darkest moments. I hope you find it relaxing.

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Oh, my, I feel for you!
    Some days are just hard. Tell the REAL you that she will know when it is safe to come out. In the meantime, hang in there…a good day is coming! 🙂
    And, if the REAL you is feeling strong, she needs to give that inner critic a good, swift kick in the butt.

    Liked by 1 person

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